Frustration

Frustration. What is it?? Well to me it is realizing that a guy that you like and see everyday for hours upon hours will never see you more than a study buddy. That is frustrating. I mean I know I am not the prettiest or the thinnest, but I am right there waiting for you and what do I get out of waiting. Nothing. Nothing at all. Just a waste of my time and energy.

Frustration is also realizing this right before finals are fixing to start. Just adding more on top of what already is the most stressful time of the year. and of course I have to see him because we are in 2 classes together. Gah, I can not wait for the summer.

Some thoughts.

So just some random thoughts and things for the day that I thought I would type up while I am in between classes

1) I was planning on going barefoot or wearing my TOMS today but when I woke up it was raining. It bummed me out. I saw many people that still did it but I would feel bad dragging mud into buildings.

2) Why are boys so complicated?? I don't get them at all

3) So yesterday we received an email talking about moving out and how if things are damaged in the common areas than all 4 of the roommates would have to split the costs unless the roommate that does it confesses to it and then they are the only one that has to pay. Well one of my roommates took it upon themselves to break the blinds that are in our living room and now she wont fess up to it!!! I have had to deal with the crap that she has thrown my way all freaking year and now I really don't want to deal with it anymore. If I am in jail in a couple of days, it's cause I killed her.

4) Boys=complicated

5) I think I put 4 twice, but its true. very complicated

6) Speaking of moving out, we only have a week 1/2 left til finals!!! and then it is home for 3 glorious months! But I know that I will not be getting any sleep staring next week which really stinks.

ok enough rambling for the time being.

Just some thoughts

So I need to get some things out. You might like it, you might not. But it is just things that I need to put down instead of just holding it in.
So when our youth group went to Gatlinburg last month, we talked about quiet time. Then when I got back my small group started this study about Ester with this book that went along with it that we were suppose to do each day. I am going to confess that I have only done 4 days of it out of 21. I feel so bad that I can not give 30 minutes to God everyday when he gave so much to me. I feel bogged down and like I am a bad Christian. I know that I love God and I love what he did for me, but I just dont know. I am trying but with finals coming up and tests I just know that it is going to be so hard.

Speaking of finals, there are only 4 weeks of my sophomore year of college left. I feel like I just moved into my dorm room. I am not complaining by any means. I am very excited to be going home for the summer. I am excited to get away from my roommates. Well one of them atleast. And the one who decided that putting their clothes in the dryer at 4 in the morning was a good idea.

My advisor told me tuesday that right now my GPA is not high enough for dentistry school and that makes me really frustrated. Orthodontics is what I want to do, but what if I do not get into school?? I have been working my butt off to get the grades that I am getting now, and that is not good enough?? Maybe it is not for me? I have thought about if I do not get into dentistry school what I will do. I am thinking that I will go back and get my masters in teaching and teach college chemistry. But that is 2 years away and I am trying not to think about it now. What I need to focus on is the end of this year and the day ahead of me cause if I don't that I am going to miss out on stuff and live to regret it.

What to write, what to write?

I feel like I have been ignoring this blog alot. I mean I get on to read other peoples but never write my own. So this is going to be a random blog about nothing. Just whatever comes to mind as a type.

So yesterday I found out that a guy that I went to elementary school and middle school with beat his girlfriend's baby to death. It baffles my mind how someone could do such a thing! People of Facebook today were saying how they didn't think he did it and the autopsy would prove that. BS!!! He did it and there is NO excuse for it!

On a lighter note, I am in love with the new One Republic sone "All the Right Moves". It really surprises me that I have not listened to it about 20 times today. In fact I have no listened to it at all.

I have also been listening to the new Timbaland song "Carry Out". Of couse it has Justin Timberlake is in it so it is pretty much awesome! If you have not listened to either one of them, do it now!

Speaking of Justin, I have decided that Robin Thicke is Justin times 100. I know that it is pretty much impossible to get much better than Justin but it does. This man can sing. I find it pretty weird thought that his dad is the dad from Growing Pains.

Random:

I could stare at this picture all day!

So I saw the trailer for Ecplise today and I am pretty flipping excited!!!

On a subject that I am not so excited about, school. This week has been spring break and it has been good and all. I have not really done anything besides clean my parents house. Before the break we were suppose to have a physics test that Thursday but we had a snow day and got out on Tuesday cancelling our Physics class that day. Well since class was cancelled our test got postponed til after break. Now you think I would have been studying over break but I have not even cracked that book open once. I figured that my test is not til Tuesday, I can study sunday and monday. I might be regreting this decision later.

Enough randomness for now!

Life

Life lately has been, I guess you could say, different. I feel as though weeks are going by so slow but when I look back on it life is going by so fast. I can't believe that spring break is in two weeks. I feel like we just started our Fall semester classes. I feel like that is a good thing and a bad thing.
Good things from it:
1. I have over 8 years of school left after this year so the quicker I can get through them, the better. I want to go ahead and start working.
2. Getting out of the dorms and living off campus. I don't think it would be so bad if I didn't have a nasty roommate. Girl does not know how to clean.
3. I want to be home for 3 months!

And the bad:
1. I want to enjoy my time and not just be there.
2. These are suppose to be the best years of my life and I want to experience them. I still have not seen that they are the best years yet.
3. The farther in my life that I go means the least that my parents are going to be there and the farther away that I am going to have to live away from them. I want to go to dentistry school in Memphis so that will mean trips home 3 times a month will not be possible and that makes me really sad.

Just some things that I am thinking about right now. If you could not tell by #3 I really miss home and my parents right now.

O school...

So yesterday at the beginning of our first class everyone gets the text message alert that school is closing at 12:05. We pretty much all jumped for joy without the jumping part. So yesterday I only had to go to two of my three classes. (I was kinda bummed about not going to one of those classes cause I did not get to see a certain person) I did have to go to physics thought. O my buddha that class is going to suck. My teacher goes way too fast and she has an accent so that makes it double worse. But hopefully I can get many people to help me. Well last night we get random texts saying that the news had put UTC on a 2 hour delay which would mean that I would not have class til 1. But no one had gotten an email or text alert from the school so I was going to go to bed and get up from my 8 am class like normal. (yeah I have class at 8am and not another one til 1 on fridays) But as I get into bed I recieve a text message and it is from the school. NO SCHOOL AT ALL ON FRIDAY!!! I was so happy. so I got a 3 1/2 day weekend and it felt good. now if I can just figure out why we did not start school next week?? 

New Year...New Me??

So it is now 2010 and at this time many people make resolutions. I never really did cause I would break them and then I let myself down. But what I will do is make "life style" changes
1. Stop stressing so much
This past year, expecially after the summer, I got so stressed out with school and just other stuff. I could tell it so much with how my skin was looking even though my grandma kept telling me my skin was so pretty. No grandma, no. I want this year to just take things as they come and just to stop worrying so much.

2. Do more stuff while at school
I am one of those people who will spend all saturday in bed in my pajamas. So this year I want to actually do some stuff when I do not go home on the weekends. Go to the park and read. Hang out with friends. Just something

3. Eat better
Maybe not eat better, but just eat less. This past year I have killed myself with saying that I don't need to eat certain things just cause it has alot of calories (not all the time but alot of the time), but now I just realize that I need smaller portions.

4. Be myself
I am pretty good at not letting people sway me a certain way, or changing for people. But I just need to keep that up. I am who I am and if you dont like it than too bad, so sad.

Well that is all that I can think of right now. Maybe as more comes I will add more but for now that is good for me.